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presents
The Ultimate Collection of rejected Brand Slogans
mindspaceagency.com
Want to see more stupid sh*t?
Pringles
Once you pop, you can’t stop — yeah, pretty much the same idea as Lay’s but ours rhymes.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
KFC
Finger lickin’ good — but only if you’re into that sort of thing.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Cookie Crisp
The glorious loophole between breakfast and dessert.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Shake Weight
We’re either comic geniuses or ... ok. That’s the only logical explanation.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Coca-Cola
Taste the feeling of tooth enamel crumbling in your mouth.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Pringles
I’ve got the fever for the flavor of reconstituted potato flakes.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Deutsche Bank
For when your money’s feeling not so fresh.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
World of Warcraft
The largest network of pasty white single men who live in their grandma’s basement in the world.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
JELL-O
Add whipped cream, bananas and yellow cake and you’ve got something worth eating!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Hostess Twinkies
Don’t ask. Just eat it.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Cracker Barrel
It’s like the Old West opened an Applebee’s.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
RCA
Audio excellence that only dogs can hear.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Benedryl
Because you can’t sneeze if you’re unconscious.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Siemens
This joke writes itself.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Pepperidge Farms
The cookie for the peckish girl trapped in all of us.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Morton’s Steakhouse
The first time you travel on an expense account, choose Mortons.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Dos Equis
I don’t always drink beer, but when I drink 6, I’m the most interesting man in the world.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Lay’s Potato Chips
Those bags aren’t half full. The chips just settled.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Visa
It’s everywhere you want to tighten the suffocating chains of consumer debt.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Juicy Couture
Yes, we seem to be expensive, but think of it this way: anything we make can also be used as a towel.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Instagram
Making your life look better since 2010.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
eHarmony
Scientific proof that you repel the opposite sex.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Nike
Just do it ... for twenty-five cents an hour.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Lowe’s
Improving home improvement by hiding from you in the store.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
The New York Times
All the news that we agree with.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Michelob Ultra
Thirsty? No other beer is 99% water.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
IKEA
Come for the meatballs. Stay because you can’t find the exit.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Dunkin’ Donuts
America moves slothfully and without purpose on Dunkin’.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Chevy Trucks
Runs like a rock.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Spotify
Pay us $11 a month or we’ll have someone whisper about the McDonald’s crispy chicken sandwich in your ear every 30 seconds.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Spirit Airlines
If we could get away with it, you’d be standing.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Pfizer
Helping test-subjects afford cheap wine.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Nike
Just Do It. Actually, do it ... or not. We’re really not that picky.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Cialis
The quicker picker upper.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Crocs
Who needs arch support when you can have ventilation?
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Secret Deodorant
Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman, who is also as strong as a man.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Capital One
What’s in your wallet? No, really, our collection agency wants to know.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
U.S. Forest Service
Only YOU can prevent forest fires. Unless you live in California.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Toyota Prius
Honestly, we accidentally misspelled “pious” but just decided to go with it.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Wendy’s
Do what tastes right, but promise you’ll come back when you’re done.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Charmin Bath Tissue
Separating humans from monkeys since 1928.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Coca-Cola
Taste the feeling of total mouth reconstruction.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Delta
We don’t understand the basics of customer service, and it shows.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Blue Cross, Blue Shield
Insuring people without pre-existing conditions for as long as the alcohol numbs our guilt.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Apple
Think different. This one has THREE cameras.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Coca-Cola
Pairs nicely with insulin!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Subway
We’ve spent an unhealthy amount of money to convince you that eating an entire loaf of bread in one sitting is healthier than having a burger.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Denny’s
The extra ingredient is gothic waiter spit.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Ford
Where quality is – what, like job 4 or 5?
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Sony Playstation 3
Be a pasty geek in your world; be a level 70 elvish geek in ours.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.