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presents
The Ultimate Collection of rejected Brand Slogans
mindspaceagency.com
Want to see more stupid sh*t?
SeaWorld
One thing our dolphins will never get to do.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Jimmy Dean Sausage
Closed to factory tours since 1887.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Pringles
I’ve got the fever for the flavor of reconstituted potato flakes.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
American Express
You can’t put the annual fee on the card. Even we don’t take American Express!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Motel 6
We’ll leave last night’s sheets on for you.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Sherwin-Williams
Cover the earth until you’ve killed every living thing with paint.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Papa John’s
Chemically engineered ingredients. Processed pizza.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Carl’s Jr.
Yes, our commercials are gross. Just be thankful we’re not a toilet paper company.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Geico
100 minutes could save you 100% on car insurance ... ok ... we’re still perfecting our business model.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Nike
Just do it. Or just look like you do.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Febreeze
Making your nose believe the couch is clean since 1998.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Shake Weight
We’re either comic geniuses or ... ok. That’s the only logical explanation.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Depend
Sleep like a baby. Walk like a toddler.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Lay’s Potato Chips
Those bags aren’t half full. The chips just settled.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
AirBnb
Normalizing sleeping in random stranger’s beds since 2008.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
The Egg Council
The incredible, edible pre-chick embryos.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Gap Kids
For kids, by kids.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Velcro
Tell the world you’re unfastening.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Nature Valley Granola Bars
Birdseed. But for humans.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Midol
Hey, at least it’s not a baby!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Honda
The Power of Dreams. Just not the Ferrari one.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
HP Printers
Thanks for the idea, Gillette!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
FedEx
When it absolutely, positively has to get there sometime next week.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Amway
Sponsoring six generations of uncomfortable social gatherings.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Motel 6
We’ll leave the light on for you, but we recommend shutting it off immediately.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Plenty of Fish
Plenty of phish.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Starbucks
Oh, you mean a GRANDE latte?
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Jack in the Box
There’s a reason why our tacos are two for a dollar.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Schlitz Beer
It’s the Schlitz!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Morton’s Steakhouse
The first time you travel on an expense account, choose Mortons.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Staples
We have everything you need for the office, except hope.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Starbucks
Milkshakes, but with caffeine.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Debeers Diamonds
You’ll pay for this forever.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Avis
We’re number two. Coincidentally, so is our customer service.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Cocoa Puffs
I get ADHD for Cocoa Puffs!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
Using only the finest in powdered cheeses to achieve the proud distinction as “the chessiest”.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Unisys
If you know what we do, there’s an excellent chance your imaginary girlfriend is a half-elf.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
The Onion
It was supposed to be satire, Florida. SATIRE!!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Dasani
Now infused with flavor-enhancing microplastic particles.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Walmart
We’re all God’s children. Remember that.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
McDonald’s
Over 1 billion unsuccessful attempts at a decent adult sandwich.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Shake ’N Bake
What the #*@! was Ricky Bobby talking about?
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
United States Postal Service
The less reliable alternative to faxes, FedEx, e-mail and texting.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
The Learning Channel (TLC)
Learn how to destroy families, one show at a time.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Botox
Now you can be dead on the outside too.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Smith & Wesson
You can take my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead — actually, how about 200 bucks?
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Fiber One Cereal
Start your day off right with a bowl of colon blow.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Deutsche Bank
For when your money’s feeling not so fresh.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Yellow Pages
Sure, but try using Google as a booster seat!
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.
Lucky Charms
Magically not stocked in the candy aisle.
The slogans on this card have been completely made up by the Mindspace content team based on patented techniques including “satire” and “completely making sh*t up”. Mindspace regrets the abundant lawsuits that await us.